Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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