i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
