somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
