Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
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