Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
