My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
