You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
