Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
