Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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