He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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