I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize