he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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