escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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