Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
