i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
