my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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