Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize