Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
