When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize