I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
