I wanna bring you to show and tell
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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