the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
