yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
