I want to stick my p in your. b.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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