Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
