if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
