I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
