BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Randomize
