u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Randomize
