I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
