I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
