last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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