i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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