I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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