He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
