Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
