if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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