we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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