return my video game
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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