No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
