i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
