My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
