There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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