My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
