Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
