I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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