I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Is this like a preordered booty call?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You are a genius and a whore.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
