She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
