Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
