You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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