Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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