why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
