paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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