My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
